Dating Violence Hotlines
The National Domestic Violence Hotline: 800-799-SAFE (7233) or 800-787-3224 (TDD).
- Love is Respect: Youth-oriented site with information, videos, online chat, and hotline for dating abuse. 24-hour hotline: (866) 331-9474.
- The Hotline: Information on domestic/dating violence and a 24-hour national hotline: (800) 799-7233
- Safe Horizons: Non-profit organization offers information, resources, and referrals for dating violence, homelessness, sexual abuse, and other issues affecting youth. 24-hour hotline for dating/domestic violence: (800) 621-4673
Dating Violence
Dating violence is when one person purposely hurts or scares someone they are dating. Dating violence happens to people of all races, cultures, incomes, and education levels. It can happen on a first date, or when you are deeply in love. It can happen whether you are young or old, and in heterosexual or same-sex relationships. Dating violence is always wrong, and you can get help.
Dating violence includes:
- Physical abuse like hitting, shoving, kicking, biting, or throwing things
- Emotional abuse like yelling, name-calling, bullying, embarrassing, keeping you away from your friends, saying you deserve the abuse, or giving gifts to "make up" for the abuse.
- Sexual abuse like forcing you to do something sexual (such as kissing or touching) or doing something sexual when you cannot agree to it (like when you are very drunk).
Dating violence often starts with emotional abuse. You may think that behaviors like calling you names or insisting on seeing you all the time are a "normal" part of relationships. But they can lead to more serious kinds of abuse, like hitting, stalking, or preventing you from using birth control. Learn more about the warning signs of abuse and the differences between healthy and unhealthy relationships.
Dating violence can cause serious harm to your body and your emotions. If you are in an abusive relationship, get help.
Teen dating violence
In the United States, teens and young women experience the highest rates of relationship violence. In fact, 1 in 10 female high-school students say they have been physically abused by a dating partner in the past year.
If you haven't dated much, it can be hard to know when a relationship is unhealthy. Some signs of teen dating abuse include:
- Constantly texting or sending instant messages (IMs) to monitor you
- Insisting on getting serious very quickly
- Acting very jealous or bossy
- Pressuring you to do sexual things
- Posting sexual photos of you online without permission
- Threatening to hurt you or themselves if you break up
- Blaming you for the abuse
Leaving an Abusive Dating Relationship
If you think you are in an abusive relationship, learn more about getting help. See a doctor or nurse to take care of any physical problems. And reach out for support for your emotional pain. Friends, family, and mental health professionals all can help. If you're in immediate danger, dial 911.
If you are thinking about ending an abusive dating relationship, keep some tips in mind:
- Create a safety plan, like where you can go if you are in danger.
- Make sure you have a cellphone near by in case you need to call for help.
- Create a secret code with people you trust. That way, if you are with your partner, you can get help without having to say you need help.
- If you're breaking up with someone you see at your high school or college, you can get help from a guidance counselor, advisor, teacher, school nurse, dean's office, or principal. You also might be able to change your class schedules or even transfer to another school.
- If you have a job, talk to someone you trust at work. Your human resources department or employee assistance program (EAP) may be able to help.
- Try to avoid walking or riding alone.
- Be smart about technology. Don't share your passwords. Don't post your schedule on Facebook, and keep your settings private.
Staying Safe When Meeting Someone New
If you are meeting someone you don't know or don't know well, you can take steps to stay safe. Try to:
- Meet your date in a public place
- Tell a friend or family member your date's name and where you are going
- Avoid parties where a lot of alcohol is around
- Make sure you have a way to get home if you need to leave
- Have a cellphone in case you need to call for help
Avoiding Date Rape Drugs
Date rape drugs are drugs that are sometimes put into a drink to prevent a person from being able to fight back during a rape. These drugs have no color, taste, or smell, so you would not know if someone put them in your drink. They also make it hard to remember what happened while you were under their influence.
If you go to a club, bar, or party, here are some steps to take to avoid date rape drugs:
- Don't accept drinks from other people.
- Keep your drink with you at all times, even when you go to the bathroom.
- Don't drink from punch bowls or other open containers.
- If you lose track of your drink, dump it out. Keep in mind that drinking a lot of alcohol can make it hard to fight off an attacker, too.
From WomensHealth.gov, a project of the U.S. Dept. of Human and Health Services Office on Women's Health.
Dating Violence Resources
- Love is Respect: Youth-oriented site with information, videos, online chat, and hotline for dating abuse. 24-hour hotline: (866) 331-9474.
- The Hotline: Information on domestic/dating violence and a 24-hour national hotline: (800) 799-7233
- Safe Horizons: Non-profit organization offers information, resources, and referrals for dating violence, homelessness, sexual abuse, and other issues affecting youth. 24-hour hotline for dating/domestic violence: (800) 621-4673
- Olweus Bullying Prevention Program: Violence prevention program for schools and communities. Website offers information on bullying and on dating violence.